The
British Olympic Team soared into the lead on the medal table today when the
women’s Violent Underpass four beat up anyone that wouldn’t hand them over.
Pictured here celebrating their win
over... everyone, the four Olympic heroes (in the required uniform of Croydon
face-lift and single, giant, tooth) twatted their way to victory using only
foul language, mugging-bats, and someone else’s iPhone. Team Captain Shazny
‘Street Ripper’ Bell personally lifted seven gold medals after ram-raiding her
own team after Jessica Ennis didn’t show her no re-spec.
The triumphant Violent Underpass victors
are said to be celebrating in the local KFC, in hoodies, having melted already
melted the medals down for hula-hoop sized earrings and gold sovereigns the
size of dustbin lids.
The Daily Mail is said to be
delighted.
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